Support Beams

 One week in the books! The basement renovation is moving along and I bet you are wondering if my, “There is always a way,” mantra is holding up?

     Here’s the scoop.

     Any avid HGTV viewer knows that renovations often come with unexpected road bumps. “Give me that open concept, Hillary,” you’ll see on Love it or List It, and then bam! “Oh look, this beam can’t be moved.” Looks like they’re going to list it.

  Well, my road bump did not arrive in the form of an unexpected structural impediment, or a physical obstacle that couldn’t be moved. My renovation surprise took the form of me not reading the written plans correctly. Yep, I am the only person responsible for the surprise path my reno took. I was the obstacle.

     You know how sometimes you just see what you want to see? Yikes, that can get you into trouble.

     Due to misreading, and in my mind, comparing the space with the finished basements of friends with the same house model, I had visualized things differently than what was actually drawn on paper. The result was that we had to take away area from the already small living space, and add that extra square footage to the utility area.

     Bummer. Bummer, bummer, bummer. Did I mention it was a big freaking bummer?

     What did I do? First, I sulked and may have possibly even had some leaky eyes. Then I did my deep breathing. I couldn’t journal, as I had to drive to work that day, but I listened to my positivity oriented podcasts during the commute. Still, I couldn’t shake my disappointment, or shift it to see it in a new light. So I did the next thing that helps me through the toughies. 

     I asked for support. 

This is from Gabby Bernstein’s affirmation deck, Spirit Junkie. I love these and pick a new card each day.

     Before heading back home, I sent my hubby, Paul, a text and let loose all my fears, disappointments, and regrets. 

    I swear, I don’t know what I did to deserve this guy, but he reminded me that all is well and yes, “there is always a way.”

     He helped me remember the excitement of the project, and that no matter what, “We are going to have an amazing, awesome new space to relax, be creative, and give more freedom to the kids…It’s a basement. It’s gravy on top of an amazing house we have…” 

     He also reminded me that with renovations, [as with life,] it’s important for us to adjust our expectations. 

      I read and re-read his text and found not only peace with the home improvement process, but gratitude and love for my hubby, who has to deal with my neuroticism on the regular. Poor guy.

      As time went on, I was also able to see that the balance between function and aesthetics I was so worried about, would actually be supported by having more utility area. I can store more items without having to put cabinets in the main space, and quite frankly, we weren’t losing that much more square footage. It was all going to work out.

     Yes, there is always a way. Sometimes things don’t turn out the way you planned, but you realize they turn out the best way for the situation, even if we can’t see it at the time. I got what I needed, not necessarily what I originally wanted, and once I removed myself as the obstacle, it all fell in to place.

   My lesson this time? When you’ve pulled out all your positivity stops and you find yourself still struggling, ask for help. Sometimes we are so deep in the mix that we just can’t see there’s another way: another way to be, another way to do, or another way to look at a situation. Having a new set of eyes can help with that. And quite frankly, it does help when those eyes are as blue as Paul’s, sigh.

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