When your sports loving 14-year-old daughter approaches you in outrage over supposed words of wisdom an NFL player has imparted to a group of graduates, you know this is something you need to write about. And yes, I am proud of my girl for being able to discern doo-doo from diamonds in the rhetoric of those in the public eye.
I don’t think I need to name names here; We all know I am referencing a certain kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs who I believe missed the mark quite dramatically in his commencement address to the graduates of Benedictine College.
When taking away the judgement and harm of his message, I find the main problem was that while it was supposed to congratulate, motivate and inspire, what listeners were really left with was a talk that expected the graduates to follow in this speaker’s singular path, accept his ideas, and honor his perspectives, the things he believes to be true. He was saying that there is only one way to be in this world, and his way of life should be everyone’s way of life. In truth, what graduates need to hear is that their own perspectives and ideas unleashed into the world is what will make it a better, brighter, more inclusive yet diverse place.
In honor of focusing on the positivity of this message, here is my sonny boy at his graduation last year.
Let me elaborate. When embarking on your life’s journey it is imperative to stay true to who you are and what you desire in life. If a woman is living her life’s dream and fulfilling her purpose being a wife and a stay at home mother, that is fantastic. It is one of the most difficult jobs there is, can be quite fulfilling, and is often underrated and under-appreciated. However, requiring this of a person because they have specific genitalia is not something that will necessarily inspire those who have spent four long years pursuing an education that will allow them to share their gifts with the world in the way they desire. Just because a person has a vagina doesn’t mean it is their life’s dream to stay home and bear children.
Furthermore, and as mentioned above, it is important to share your gifts and encompass your role and identity in the way you choose to. If you want to be a kicker and express your gifts and your masculinity in that way, then good for you. However, there are an abundance of different ways to embody masculinity that do not include playing a sport or loving someone of a different gender. Rock on with your bad self if that is what you choose, but please leave others to their own devices, and for the love of all that is good, get rid of the toxicity.
Words that truly inspire and motivate would implore graduates to challenge the status quo, and not to accept the ideas that work for some and ignore the needs and desires of others. An intelligent message would ask them to bring their hard earned knowledge, insights, and perspectives to a world looking for innovative ways to evolve and grow with integrity. Where we fall short as human beings sometimes, is that we fail to see that what is true for one person might not be true for another. And with failing to recognize that insight often comes the expectation that others need to live their lives in the same way we do. What we need is not more rhetoric that says you must be like me, but a message that says you must be more of yourself. And in doing so, you bring to the world that which is sorely needed.
So if anyone ever tries to tell you who you are supposed be, and you know it goes against the very core of your being, who you are and what you are supposed to do, you take that message and kick it right back at em’!
Chaos to Calm 